://i have no heart

[toyboy]

[ it's dark. his internal chronometer reads 9:45pm. it had taken less than an hour to wrap up the hostage situation, and he'd left almost immediately after to catch a cab back to the cyberlife tower.

the reason why he's currently standing on a curb, under the harsh glare of a street lamp, is obvious without words: the cab parked nearby, smoking under the hood, is the culprit. he had called a second cab fifteen minutes ago, but had been warned that it might arrive late. there was currently high traffic congestion in this part of the city, and several cabs were stuck in the backup of vehicles. this was partially due to the streets around the phillips' apartment building being blocked off for several hours.

a moth had broken free from the allure of the street lamp to orbit around his head— it bumped into his LED twice, attracted by the glow. connor stepped sideways, and it followed him.

he waited for his cab to arrive. he didn't didn't think about daniel, or emma. he waited. ]

Comments

[toyboy]

[ there's an infinitesimal pause between the time the lieutenant asks and connor answers. but his gaze doesn't falter, and his tone of voice doesn't change. ]

It didn't shut down immediately after being shot. By then it was aware it had been lied to, but it was no longer a threat.

[heavymetalgears]

Jesus...

( Hank lost himself in the vision of that scenario. He knows what that's like; negotiating with a hostile individual and getting them to lower their guard to secure a shot... then, once that shot comes the world you promised theme crumbles around you both. There's always a piece of Hank that's affected - even if he tells himself he's indifferent. It's enough that he was a key part of ending someone's life violently to keep Hank acutely aware of his influence. )

[toyboy]

Lieutenant? Is there something wrong?

[ connor peers at him curiously once again, either oblivious to the source of his discomfort, or somehow incapable of understanding it. he had done his job, and to him, it really was that simple.

at least, that's what he thinks. ]

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank pushes on his left foot and adjusts his butt on the seat. He clears his throat. )

I just imagined what it went through before the end. I've seen it countless times in humans. It's not the best fucking feeling. Even when all you want to do is punish the perp for their crime.

[toyboy]

But deviants don't actually feel emotion. It's just an error in their software.

[ but he supposes for an officer who's been through similar situations, it might not matter if it recalls a similar memory. for a few moments, he watches hank very closely, and it isn't just out of curiosity, although he won't be able to identify what else "it" is for a very long time. ]

Lieutenant, do you own an android?

[heavymetalgears]

Fuck no.

( Hank responds quickly. The question breaks any previous thought path he was on. Now he was thinking about an android in his home, doing fuck knows what. )

Why the hell would I own an android?

[toyboy]

I don't know. I was only asking.

[ connor doesn't seem taken aback, but it is an interesting response. so, the lieutenant was willing to sympathize with androids but didn't want one of his own? in fact, he seemed defensive in the face of the idea.

there must be a reason. ]

Do you dislike technology?

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank responds with a noise, it sounds close to a growl with a hint of disgust. He keeps his eyes forward. )

I don't like androids.

[toyboy]

... I see.

[ the question he wants to ask is obvious, but if it really is that dangerous for him on the street, he shouldn't risk getting kicked out of the car. he can't imagine why the lieutenant would've picked him up if he hates androids, but if deviants have one thing truly in common with humans, it's their irrationality.

connor turns his eyes forward, glancing at him askance just once before settling his attention elsewhere. ]

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank lets out a scoff. He's quiet a few minutes before he breaks the silence with a question of his own. )

What if you fuck up your mission, what happens then?

[toyboy]

[ connor lets the silence stretch, not feeling the tension although it would be obvious to anyone. but he's quick to answer when anderson asks his question, as though he was waiting for an excuse to break the silence. his attention turns back toward the driver's seat. ]

I'll be deactivated and taken apart to find out why I failed.

[heavymetalgears]

( The answer moves Hank's eyes to Connor. He stares longer than he means to, and doesn't speak until his eyes are on the road again. )

Well, good fucking thing you didn't fail.

[toyboy]

I agree.

[ connor doesn't speak until he answers, watching the lieutenant watch him, trying to decipher the emotion in his eyes. it doesn't look like sympathy. it looks to connor like he's questioning something, but he doesn't know what that would be. ]

But even if that were to happen, they would just begin work on the next iteration. Any and all information is valuable.

[heavymetalgears]

And that doesn't fucking bother you?

( He couldn't stand the thought of it. To him, Connor was... sentient, he was self-aware, he shouldn't be destroyed because of a mistake... he can learn, couldn't he? )

Why not just teach you how to do better?

[toyboy]

No.

[ he does't hesitate; it really doesn't seem to bother him. even his LED doesn't change color, although it spins and flickers as he considers the second question. ]

It wouldn't be cost-efficient. It makes more sense from CyberLife's standpoint to develop a better model.

[heavymetalgears]

How is that cost-efficient to destroy you and recreate a better model?

( Hank could feel himself getting worked up. He was getting angry, at Connor, for the disregard for his own life. As if I should talk. Hank glances at Connor, disbelief for how real the other looks and how little Connor appreciates his own realism. Still, talking about himself the way he was didn't instill a sense of self-importance. )

Jesus Christ. Don't you have some sort of sense of self-preservation?

[toyboy]

It would take time to educate me, and the chance that I'll be destroyed is high in this line of work. If that happened, they would have to then educate the next model, and the next. But if my programming is updated instead, then every subsequent model will already have the changes applied.

[ it's obvious that the lieutenant is getting angry about it, but even though he has some idea why, he can't grasp the full implications of why. connor quirks his head, peering at him with his lips turned down. his confusion is mild, but it's in his nature— in his programming to want to clarify. ]

Yes, but only when it's appropriate. I have to consider the mission above all else.

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank doesn't have a response. He doesn't agree with this sort of ... misuse of resources. At least, that's what it seems like to him. But, again, what the fuck does he know about these androids? About CyberLife? Not a goddamn.

He's got a whole file of fuckups; every time he steps out of line (almost every time) or fucks up a mission or assignment, there's a review and a determination whether he's going to get written up. What would it be like to just replace him? Fowler would probably prefer that, but Hank's got his loyalty... that only goes so far, though. )

Fucking hell.

[toyboy]

... I'm sorry if this topic makes you uncomfortable. We can talk about something else, if you like?

[ connor frowns; he can't understand, although some part of him wishes he could, if only to better utilize his ability to negotiate and interview. but it's just not written into his code. ]

[heavymetalgears]

I got nothing else to say about it. ( Hank frowns, his eyes shift down to the GPS, then back up to the road. He welcomes the idea of a new topic, however. )

What do you want to talk about?

[toyboy]

[ connor squints, first at anderson, and then into the distance. he doesn't need to look at the GPS to know how far they are from cyberlife; they've had to take a longer route in order to avoid traffic congestion. ]

I don't know.

[ another pause, and then he asks, ]

Did you realize I was an android when you stopped?

[heavymetalgears]

Tch, no. ( He shakes his head, though not too far to where he can't keep his eyes on the road. ) You just looked like some poor asshole caught with a broke down taxi.

I think the fact you were in front of a broke down taxi through me off, I guess I didn't expect androids to be taking taxis.

[toyboy]

What kind of transportation would you expect an android to take?

[ maybe cyberlife could've provided him with private transportation, but they'd decided not to. any other android, though... ]

[heavymetalgears]

I don't know, I know fuck all about androids.

( He huffs. ) If you were so important, why didn't they send a car? Or why isn't someone with you, watching you?

[toyboy]

They expect me to be independent, to be able to move and make decisions on my own. If I can't do that much, then they obviously must have messed up somewhere.

[ although a small part of him wonders this too. they've inflated his importance, but it's really his programming that's had all the time and money dumped into it. his body, his physical construction, isn't that changed from the standard models, with some notable exceptions. ]