://i have no heart

[toyboy]

[ it's dark. his internal chronometer reads 9:45pm. it had taken less than an hour to wrap up the hostage situation, and he'd left almost immediately after to catch a cab back to the cyberlife tower.

the reason why he's currently standing on a curb, under the harsh glare of a street lamp, is obvious without words: the cab parked nearby, smoking under the hood, is the culprit. he had called a second cab fifteen minutes ago, but had been warned that it might arrive late. there was currently high traffic congestion in this part of the city, and several cabs were stuck in the backup of vehicles. this was partially due to the streets around the phillips' apartment building being blocked off for several hours.

a moth had broken free from the allure of the street lamp to orbit around his head— it bumped into his LED twice, attracted by the glow. connor stepped sideways, and it followed him.

he waited for his cab to arrive. he didn't didn't think about daniel, or emma. he waited. ]

Comments

[heavymetalgears]

( The answer moves Hank's eyes to Connor. He stares longer than he means to, and doesn't speak until his eyes are on the road again. )

Well, good fucking thing you didn't fail.

[toyboy]

I agree.

[ connor doesn't speak until he answers, watching the lieutenant watch him, trying to decipher the emotion in his eyes. it doesn't look like sympathy. it looks to connor like he's questioning something, but he doesn't know what that would be. ]

But even if that were to happen, they would just begin work on the next iteration. Any and all information is valuable.

[heavymetalgears]

And that doesn't fucking bother you?

( He couldn't stand the thought of it. To him, Connor was... sentient, he was self-aware, he shouldn't be destroyed because of a mistake... he can learn, couldn't he? )

Why not just teach you how to do better?

[toyboy]

No.

[ he does't hesitate; it really doesn't seem to bother him. even his LED doesn't change color, although it spins and flickers as he considers the second question. ]

It wouldn't be cost-efficient. It makes more sense from CyberLife's standpoint to develop a better model.

[heavymetalgears]

How is that cost-efficient to destroy you and recreate a better model?

( Hank could feel himself getting worked up. He was getting angry, at Connor, for the disregard for his own life. As if I should talk. Hank glances at Connor, disbelief for how real the other looks and how little Connor appreciates his own realism. Still, talking about himself the way he was didn't instill a sense of self-importance. )

Jesus Christ. Don't you have some sort of sense of self-preservation?

[toyboy]

It would take time to educate me, and the chance that I'll be destroyed is high in this line of work. If that happened, they would have to then educate the next model, and the next. But if my programming is updated instead, then every subsequent model will already have the changes applied.

[ it's obvious that the lieutenant is getting angry about it, but even though he has some idea why, he can't grasp the full implications of why. connor quirks his head, peering at him with his lips turned down. his confusion is mild, but it's in his nature— in his programming to want to clarify. ]

Yes, but only when it's appropriate. I have to consider the mission above all else.

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank doesn't have a response. He doesn't agree with this sort of ... misuse of resources. At least, that's what it seems like to him. But, again, what the fuck does he know about these androids? About CyberLife? Not a goddamn.

He's got a whole file of fuckups; every time he steps out of line (almost every time) or fucks up a mission or assignment, there's a review and a determination whether he's going to get written up. What would it be like to just replace him? Fowler would probably prefer that, but Hank's got his loyalty... that only goes so far, though. )

Fucking hell.

[toyboy]

... I'm sorry if this topic makes you uncomfortable. We can talk about something else, if you like?

[ connor frowns; he can't understand, although some part of him wishes he could, if only to better utilize his ability to negotiate and interview. but it's just not written into his code. ]

[heavymetalgears]

I got nothing else to say about it. ( Hank frowns, his eyes shift down to the GPS, then back up to the road. He welcomes the idea of a new topic, however. )

What do you want to talk about?

[toyboy]

[ connor squints, first at anderson, and then into the distance. he doesn't need to look at the GPS to know how far they are from cyberlife; they've had to take a longer route in order to avoid traffic congestion. ]

I don't know.

[ another pause, and then he asks, ]

Did you realize I was an android when you stopped?

[heavymetalgears]

Tch, no. ( He shakes his head, though not too far to where he can't keep his eyes on the road. ) You just looked like some poor asshole caught with a broke down taxi.

I think the fact you were in front of a broke down taxi through me off, I guess I didn't expect androids to be taking taxis.

[toyboy]

What kind of transportation would you expect an android to take?

[ maybe cyberlife could've provided him with private transportation, but they'd decided not to. any other android, though... ]

[heavymetalgears]

I don't know, I know fuck all about androids.

( He huffs. ) If you were so important, why didn't they send a car? Or why isn't someone with you, watching you?

[toyboy]

They expect me to be independent, to be able to move and make decisions on my own. If I can't do that much, then they obviously must have messed up somewhere.

[ although a small part of him wonders this too. they've inflated his importance, but it's really his programming that's had all the time and money dumped into it. his body, his physical construction, isn't that changed from the standard models, with some notable exceptions. ]

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank glances back to Connor. ) And if you failed, you'd decide to go back to CyberLife to be destroyed?

[toyboy]

Yes. If I didn't, they would come and collect me themselves.

[heavymetalgears]

Alright. We got back on this topic... You got a bucket list before you go back to CyberLife?

[toyboy]

[ they do seem to have come back around to it naturally. connor smiles, although the expression doesn't quite reach his eyes.

but he just looks confused in the face of hank's question. ]

A bucket list?

[heavymetalgears]

Yeah, shit you want to do before you commit suicide.

[toyboy]

...No?

[ he still doesn't seem to understand, but it's not the question that's giving him problems. it's the sentiment behind it. ]

An android can't commit suicide, Lieutenant. It's not alive.

[heavymetalgears]

Well, that's what you're fucking doing going back to CyberLife, knowing they're gonna rip you apart.

It depends on what you consider life as, or if you consider it at all. Makes you wonder though, how much you can appreciate a human life if you don't even value your own.

[toyboy]

I consider humans alive. But I'm a machine. Machines aren't alive.

[ the concept is simple enough to him, but it seems like the lieutenant is hung up on something. after studying his face for a few more moment in the occasionally light provided by the roadside lamps, he gives up trying to figure it out. ]

You do remember this is a hypothetical situation? I completed my mission successfully.

[heavymetalgears]

It's hypothetical now, but do you think you're always going to be successful?

[toyboy]

I'm not programmed to fail.

[ that seems a simple concept to him too, but statistically speaking... the lieutenant has a point.

maybe it's just one he would rather not see. ]

[heavymetalgears]

Well, that's fucking bullshit, Connor.

( Hank makes another noise of disgust. He's getting upset again. Though... as he reflects on their conversation something comes to mind. That wistful hope that lingers in the eyes of someone who knows they're going to die.

That's what Connor's response reminds hims of. )

Hm.