://i have no heart

[toyboy]

[ it's dark. his internal chronometer reads 9:45pm. it had taken less than an hour to wrap up the hostage situation, and he'd left almost immediately after to catch a cab back to the cyberlife tower.

the reason why he's currently standing on a curb, under the harsh glare of a street lamp, is obvious without words: the cab parked nearby, smoking under the hood, is the culprit. he had called a second cab fifteen minutes ago, but had been warned that it might arrive late. there was currently high traffic congestion in this part of the city, and several cabs were stuck in the backup of vehicles. this was partially due to the streets around the phillips' apartment building being blocked off for several hours.

a moth had broken free from the allure of the street lamp to orbit around his head— it bumped into his LED twice, attracted by the glow. connor stepped sideways, and it followed him.

he waited for his cab to arrive. he didn't didn't think about daniel, or emma. he waited. ]

Comments

[heavymetalgears]

Yeah, but you're fucking naked.

( He pulls the boxers up to Connor's hips, standing afterward. He frowns at the fit. He sighs. The boxers might be a problem. But he for damn sure knows he doesn't have anything smaller to fit Connor's body.

He lifts his eyes to Connor's face. He fixes the shirt and helps Connor through the holes. ) It's the best we can do until we get you something that'll fit.

Alright? ( Hank grabs the notepad and pockets it. Then Hank gestures for Connor to take his hand. He leans in, puts Connor's hand on his shoulder, and wraps his arms around the brunette. He pulls him up and walks out from the room and to the living room to set Connor down on the couch.

Connor's a lot lighter and cooperative now that he has his dead weight off of him. Hank retrieves the laptop and sits next to Connor. )

Alright, where do I go?

[toyboy]

That's true.

[ he can't really argue the fact. he doesn't protest being helped into the shirt (it sags on his skinny frame, worse so becasue of his missing shoulder), but the boxers only last as long as it takes the lieutenant to help him upright. without any hesitation, he kicks them off onto the floor. the shirt's big enough to hide his immodesty, although he doesn't particularly care himself.

at least, not for the moment.

as hank sits next to him, he turns his body toward him. their combined weight causes the cushions to sink, and his intact leg presses against the lieutenant's, which is considerably warmer than his own. ]

Go to CyberLife.net/Store. Then type the parts numbers into the search bar.

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank pulls the site up, puts in the numbers for the product. He makes sure he's got the right product, with Connor, before he adds them to the shopping cart. )

Are you sure that's everything?

[toyboy]

[ connor pauses to reassess the list, and then makes a thoughtful sound before reaching across to direct the cursor to the search bar and tap another number into the text field. the site redirects to a page with wireless cards, and connor adds the first one to the cart before returning to the checkout page. ]

There. That's it.

[ the total price doesn't escape his notice, but he can only hope that it's within the lieutenant's limit. ]

[heavymetalgears]

What's that for?

( Hank caught the title of the product before it disappeared into his cart. He opens up the cart and looks at the list, finding the last item on the list. He clicks on it and reads the description. )

Wireless card?

[toyboy]

Mine is damaged. I can't connect to wifi or cell signals without it. I can't speak wirelessly with other androids, either.

[ which, to an android, is a bit like being struck mute. ]

But it's not vital, if cost is a concern.

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank turns his attention to Connor. He studies the other's expression, then asks: ) You're not thinking about checking in with CyberLife, are you?

( Hank waits, with a bated breath. He had asked Connor to lie to him before, and he was asking Connor to be truthful now, but, would he know? )

[toyboy]

[ connor frowns and his LED stutters yellow. if hank didn't have a point about his current questionable status within cyberlife, he would be able to lie about this. but he's in the midst of piecing himself together on a police lieutenant's borrowed salary, and he can only hope that they'll pick up the bill if he reports in.

but he knows it's more likely that they'll refuse, refund the money, and collect the parts themselves. whether or not he's willing to admit that to himself yet, though... ]

I should at least make the attempt.

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank frowns. He knows, realistically, Connor could find a way to report to CyberLife, without his help. Especially when he gets that arm and leg back on him, and fix whatever the hell is going on in his insides.

Hank has reservations about the wireless card. Furthermore, the whole package to be honest, because: )

And if they tell you to come in and be destroyed? What's the point of all of this?

[toyboy]

They'll refund your money, Lieutenant.

[ connor directs his frown down at the keyboard, although his eyes find themselves resting where their thighs are touching. it's warm, and he likes it, although he wouldn't be able to explain what reason he has to. there's something wrong with this situation, and he knows there's something wrong with this situation, but he just can't quite grasp the concept. ]

[heavymetalgears]

( He snorts. Then scoffs. ) I don't give a shit about the money. I want you to ... live, Connor. I want you to survive.

[toyboy]

I can't tell you what to do with your money, Lieutenant. If you think it would be better to wait...

[ he presses his lips together, unsure of why he's allowing this. but what he's saying is true: he has no authority over him. ]

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank frowns. He moves his hand from the computer to touch Connor's chin. He pushes on the flesh, wanting to see Connor's eyes. )

Promise me you won't go back there?

[toyboy]

[ strange, too, how distracted he finds himself by the warmth and roughness of the liutenant's fingers against his face. it's yet another foreign sensation. ]

... I won't go back.

[ connor exhales, his breath cool against hot, human skin. ]

I'd just like to know whether or not they've replaced me yet.

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank could appreciate that sensation, how honest and vulnerable that fucking idea was. Have I been replaced? He doesn't want to take that away from Connor. Hank also doesn't accept that Connor could ever be replaced; he doesn't want to see it.

He lowers his fingers and settles them back onto the laptop. After a quiet moment of staring at Connor, he turns his attention back to the computer. He processes the payment. )

[toyboy]

[ connor watches the lieutenant in silence, afraid to break this "truce" between them. there's nothing else that can be done for now, and he's in no immediate danger. but there's a strange, unidentifiable tension, like some kind of winged insect glimpsed from the corner of the eye. the kind of thing that should be simple but takes up too much processing power regardless.

several silent moments pass before he remembers that he should speak. ]

Thank you.

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank exhales, the order's put through and the delivery will be immediate. Like Connor had said, they'll be getting the parts within a day. Hank's lips part, and he brings in a breath. He shuts the laptop and sets it on the coffee table. )

Yes. ( He turns his head again, to look at Connor. Sumo had settled in his usual spot by the record player, to the side of the couch. ) I ... wish I could have protected you, tonight, had your back.

[toyboy]

[ connor watches each small movement with arrested attention, silently filing it all away for some purpose that even he couldn't identify. the only thing he knew was that it had a positive effect on his mental state when he did it. likewise, when he had the lieutenant's attention, it was more difficult to focus on the question of what would become of him. ]

If you had been there, you wouldn't have let the SWAT team use me as bait in the first place. Not that I think they meant for me to be destroyed...

[heavymetalgears]

They did what? ( He heard Connor and his tone was indicative that he didn't need the brunette to repeat it. His face reddens with a heated fury to which Fowler will hear of - or, at least, that's all Hank could think about doing. ) Son of a bitch.

Fucking son of a bitch! ( Hank turns his head from Connor, his eyes staring at the computer on the coffee table. His hands curl into fists. )

[toyboy]

Lieutenant?

[ it's the most animated he's ever seen him, outside of about an hour ago now, when he dragged him inside still dripping river water. but he didn't have the wherewithal then to appreciate the explosivity of the lieutenant's emotions. both eyebrows raise and he reaches for him, calling on a part of his programming that hasn't seen much use yet: he was supposed to be the perfect partner for somebody, eventually, once cyberlife had finally decided to begin the investigation into deviancy in earnest.

now it's looking more and more like that's never going to happen, but it doesn't mean he can't put himself to good use.

his fingertips rest against hank's arm. ]

I'm all right now, so there's nothing to be upset about.

[heavymetalgears]

( Hank relaxes his hands. He turns his eyes to Connor, and he holds his breath. He swallows. He can still feel the tension in his shoulders. He tries to focus on Connor's words, but all he can see is the SWAT team's disservice toward Connor. He can feel his heartbeat on the side of his neck, and the anger was still evident in his expression. )

They sent you in there as bait. They had no regard for you at all.

[toyboy]

I'm an android, Lieutenant. Not that I need to remind you— But they weren't required to have any regard for me.

[ he keeps telling himself that the reason the lieutenant is acting this way is because he's seeing humanity where there isn't any, but is that really true? or is it something else? ]

You don't even like androids. You said so yourself.

[heavymetalgears]

Shut up! ( Hank keeps himself from saying anything else right after that. He turns his head, and his fists clench again. He closes his eyes, and he shakes his head. Still, all he could think about was the careless, reckless way in which Connor was handled and allowed himself to be handled.

He reflects on the parts that were coming. Would Connor get patched up only to put himself in danger again? Hank opens his eyes and turns his attention back to Connor. )

You're... You aren't replaceable.

[toyboy]

[ connor does, although it's probably only because there's nothing he can say. it's impossible for him to trace hank's motivations, not only because he doesn't know them well enough, but because he doesn't have the capacity to understand. he wasn't programmed with this in mind, not really— he was meant to be easy to get along with, yes, he was meant to integrate into any team. to be anything anyone might want him to be.

but what could he possibly represent for someone like lieutenant hank anderson?

he places his hand on his arm again. ]

I don't understand why you feel this way, but I believe that you do. And as I currently have no instructions, and you're technically my superior, you have the authority to order me as you see fit.

[heavymetalgears]

( Connor's words break apart the distress. Hank's eyes fixate on Connor's expression. He raises his hand to hold over Connor's. ) It wasn't right, what they did to you, it wasn't right.

I know you don't understand, I ... Just need you to know it wasn't right.