systolicarray | ://i have no heart

( Hank lowers his head, once again, to rest on Connor's shoulder. His arms tighten, and he huffs against Connor's skin. He still smells like the river. He doesn't mind it, as long as he can stay close like this to Connor. He pushes his palm up Connor's chest, to the front of his neck and holds his palm there gently. He turns his head, and he breathes in Connor's flesh, again, but this time he holds it in his lungs and imagines the smell of Connor seeping into his lungs, into his body, into his blood. )

[ beneath the smell of the river is the sterile scent of plastic, faint, one last thing to give away his inhumanity. the warmer he is, the stronger the smell of it, but even enveloped in hank's body heat, his body is still chilled from the general ambient temperature of the room. beneath his fingers, the tubes, like veins, thrum with a steady pulse of thirium.

the tickle of breath and beard against his skin makes it beat a little faster than before. ]

Perhaps you'd like to return to bed until the delivery gets here? I could come with you.

( Hank had intended to come home and sleep, but... that, obviously, was disrupted by the disheartening find. Though Hank supposes, this could have been a thousand ways worse before it was this... Connor could have ended up in a thousand different places instead of his.

His heart sank to his stomach. He wanted Connor to come. He wanted to accept the offer... But.. He felt hesitant, and he wasn't sure why. )

Do you want to come with me?

Yes.

[ connor doesn't hesitate; he doesn't see any reason to. and why would he? now that he has no purpose, there's nothing he wants, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want this, and there are advantages to doing what hank would like him to do. maybe he should play into it, he thinks, lie a little more, but he's not certain if it'd be realistic.

some amount of honesty is called for in this situation.

probably.

besides, he won't have anything to do if he stays out here. he'll be stuck wherever hank leaves him. so he stares at the lieutenant over his shoulder, gaze steady, waiting for his reply. ]

( The answer was so small, yet so large. Hank could hardly believe the feeling that came with the simple three-letter-word. Yes. It tickled at his flesh, leaving his hair on end, and it swelled his heart and rushed his blood. The yes was that Connor wanted to come with him.

Did he want more than to just be with him? Hank would need to find out... he wanted to find out, he had to know.

He reaches for Connor and settles him on his lap. One arm settles around the brunette with his hand on Connor's side, and his free one reaches to caress Connor's face. Hank runs the back of his fingers down the strong cheek to the jawline, which he trails to pinch at the small dimple on his chin. Connor was beautiful. )

Connor... ( His light blue eyes set on Connor's lips. A breath takes movement through his own. His hand rises to brush the back of his forefinger beneath Connor's bottom lip. )

You want to come with me?

[ in other circumstances, it would be funny that it takes him this long, and the lieutenant all but propositioning him for him to understand what he really means. as an android made for investigation, one might think he'd be quicker on the uptake. but he hadn't predicted that he'd become the focus of anyone's attention , and now that he is he needs time to decide how to react, aside from the slight widening of his eyes and the parting of his lips. his breath is cool against the fingers that rest against his chin, a warm point of contact.

in reality, it takes less than a handful of milliseconds to decide. he needs the lieutenant. ]

Yes.

[ connor pauses, glancing down at himself for a split second, and then adds. ]

But I'm sure you've noticed I have limited functionality in that... area.

( Hank's heart warms with Connor's response, and he feels his body heat rising. They both smell like the river, but it doesn't matter to Hank. He wants Connor - even if it's just to hold, to kiss... to kiss.. Hank's lips part and he exhales. )

Connor, I want you, I ... I want you. ( The near loss had been a significant wake-up call for Hank. He couldn't think of how many other ways this could have ended badly, it would make him upset. It would also fire up his blood about those assholes that held no regard for Connor. Despite what the SWAT team thought about Connor... or what Connor felt about himself. Hank couldn't see Connor replaced. He didn't want to see it. )

I... ( Though, describing how he felt, beyond the need was far more complicated. I want you. It was enough Connor agreed to come with him.

Hank moves his hand to Connor's cheek, pulls on the flesh, and repositions Connor's face to line up with his own. He watches those brown eyes for a moment before he lowers his eyes to Connor's lips. He tilts his head and leans in. His larger mouth presses on Connor's perfectly pouty lips. Nothing about this boy is inadequate. Nothing about him is ... replaceable. )

[ connor can't be sure what to say. he doesn't know what it is to want something, and he has the sense that admitting this would ruin the moment. so he finds himself thankful when the lieutenant, instead of waiting for his answer, leans into the space between them. connor may not be programmed to do these specific things, but his motor control isn't lacking regardless of his two of his two missing limbs. it's a simple thing to turn his head just so and allow their lips to touch together. on his breath he smells the faint odor of hops, and something bitter— likely coffee.

it takes him longer to remember to respond than it took him to decide to give in to hank's request, but he quickly movies to rectify his mistake. his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks in a delicate sweep, and he applies an appropriate amount of pressure before parting his mouth and touching his tongue against the swell of hank's bottom lip.

the first thing he learns is that he was right about the coffee. there are traces of caffeine and other chemicals, lingering. ]

( His mind fills with thoughts of Connor, with images of the brunette, with the brief history they have together, and Hank's obsessive stalking. However, as soon as Connor reciprocates the kiss, his mind goes blank, and instead, his body responds. Sensations overwhelm Hank with Connor's soft lips against his, the way the hairs beneath his lips brush across Connor's chin. Hank's palm settles on Connor's neck, his forefinger and thumb press against Connor's jaw. Hank responds to Connor's tongue with a push of his moist muscle, inserting his tongue into Connor's mouth. His other hand lowers on Connor's hip and squeezes.

No longer a need to keep his attraction secret, the lust unveils with warm spikes throughout his gut and dips into his lap where his cock stirs with delight. Connor's weight on his lap anchors Hank from metaphorically flying through the roof in his unhinged merriment.

Hank slides his hand down from Connor's throat to run his fingertips across Connor's chest. His mouth moves down from the brunette's lips to his chin, jaw, then throat. He hums with the explorative mouth across the soft flesh that stretches across Connor's neck. His mouth works between pinches, bites, and fat licks. His heart palpitates, and his breath hitches; the more he explores, the more noise he emits. )

[ connor's mouth fills with hot tongue, and he makes a sound, soft and surprised. his own mouth is cool. the heat radiating from the lieutenant is outlined in a measure of contrasts, his fingers, too, branding him with warmth. it's difficult to decide how to respond while navigating these new sensations, feeling at the same time that there shouldn't be anything to navigate: that he should simply know what to do. human desire, as a concept, wasn't that complex. or, at least, it had never seemed so to him. but as an object of desire, he's overwhelmed.

he isn't used to not knowing things.

the sounds that come from the lieutenant's body, his heavy breaths, his increased BPM, the appreciative noises that slip out of his mouth between biting and licking, all present a very clear picture. again, it takes him some time to catch up. to do anything other than observe the way his own body reacts (his muscles twitching sporadically under the attention, the artifice of his breathing slowing and deepening), and reciprocate.

to begin with he only mirrors what's been done to him. a hand gentling against the side of hank's face, thumb rubbing curiously against the rough, prickly hairs of his beard. his hand dropping to his chest. and then, with an imperceptibly brief moment of hesitation, he places that same hand between his thighs to palm his stirring cock. ]

( He hadn't intended to go so far - Connor's hand on his cock brought on that quick realization. Hank's eyes flutter open, and he grunts before he lifts his face to capture Connor's lips once again. He pours his passion into Connor's mouth with the force of his tongue. His wet muscle searches and pushes at the cool, moist structure of perfect teeth, narrow cheeks, and firm tongue before he drags the tip of his tongue on the roof of Connor's mouth. Another noise of lust slips between him and into Connor's mouth. His hand moves from Connor's hip to his backside, where he grips Connor's ass cheek.

His hips lift then shy away from Connor's hand at his lap. The stimulation turns Hank's timid cock into a full erection. It was a quick ascension that cleared Hank's mind with strobes of white light and pulses of carnal hunger. )

Fuck... ( Hank moves his mouth from Connor's, with a curse. He straightens his head and looks to Connor, over his expression and down to his mouth. ) Connor... Do you know what you're doing to me? ( His pupils were dilated, expressing that same hunger that pulsed within his body. )

[ there's a certain amount of satisfaction in how decisively the lieutenant's body responds. people aren't always so easy to please, in any capacity, to say nothing of this attempt to succeed at something he was never designed to do. but it seems like his efforts aren't lost on hank. when he crushes their mouths together again, connor kisses back harder. even out of his element, he's capable of the dexterity required to slip his tongue into the lieutenant's mouth and curl his tongue behind his top row of teeth, passively recording the chemical contents of his saliva without so much as a thought.

his lips are flushed and swollen when hank pulls away, his face dusted with a delicate pink. all cyberlife androids are programmed to appear human down to the smallest of details. his hand remains resting over the now considerable bulge in hank's pants. ]

Yes, I'm aware. I assumed because of what you said that you wanted to have intercourse with me. Was I right?

[ connor makes the conscious choice to smile. he isn't sure how the lieutenant reconciles this to himself, when he claims to hate androids, but it wouldn't hurt to encourage him. ]

( Connor's answer was... almost flat, in comparison to the look the brunette had on his face. Still, it wasn't at all dissuasive. Hank still very much wanted Connor. ) It's not...

That's not all of how I want you. Connor.

I wasn't ... I didn't intend to go that far. I just wanted you to know how... I do want you.. and if you don't want that, then.. ( His face was flushed with desire, his breath was still quick. ) I mean, I want you, every way. Tonight, I thought I'd just hold you... While I slept.

Lieutenant, I'm a machine. What I want doesn't matter.

[ to say that he can't want anything— while true, seems like it would destroy the illusion of the moment. and while he doesn't understand why it's necessary, he's certain that for right now it is. with banked curiosity, he watches hank speak, his eyes moving from his mouth to meet his gaze, steady, wondering.

his lips tug downward, brows drawn. ]

I know my body isn't in the best shape, but I'm still perfectly capable of pleasing you like this. There's no need to wait.

( Hank could take this as Connor was offering it, but the purpose wasn't to use Connor. He wanted Connor to want him. He wanted Connor to need him the same way he needed Connor. Could that be possible? Would it ever be possible?

Connor still saw himself as a machine, capable of fulfilling the desire Hank had toward him. Hank didn't want that, though. He pushed aside Connor's hand and shook his head. ) No. I don't want this.

That's... I'll wait, not because of your body... I'll wait. ( Because of his mind. Hank will make Connor see how important he was, to see his autonomy... Hank wants Connor's love. )

Lieutenant?

[ connor moves his hand away when it's pushed aside, his gaze darting between hank's face and the hand that moved his away, LED yellow and flickering. it was like missing some number in an equation. how was he meant to solve for when he didn't know the outcome?

is it because he wasn't made for this?

or is it something else? ]

I don't understand.

( Hank nods his head. He's a moment before he lifts his eyes back to Connor's face. He moves his hand to cup Connor's cheek, and he leans to offer a chaste kiss to Connor's lips. ) It's alright. ( He brushes his lips against Connor's and straightens his head. He pulls Connor into a hug. He feels just as much attracted to Connor but his focus moved from his needs to Connor's.

Though Connor had stated he lacked needs or desires, that was what Hank focuses on. That Connor will need to have these things before Hank could feel ready to move into something more intimate. He didn't want to do anything before then. )

I just... I need to sleep, Connor.

... Okay.

[ the uncertainty in his voice is autible, but he doesn't say anything more about it after the lieutenant puts his arms around him. steady, solid, and warm, he can still feel the still increased rate of his heartbeat against his chest, thudding to a rhythmic tune that he can't match for all his worth. something's missing. but here in hank's arms, the gnawing, itching feeling to figure out what it is begins to ease.

he opens his mouth softly in answer after hank speaks. ]

Whatever you want, Lieutenant.

Come on, ( Hank gather's Connor in his arms and stands with the other. He strolls to his room, and Sumo follows after them. Once inside the room, he sets Connor down on his bed and, once again, kisses Connor's lips. He pulls the sheets up over Connor's body. Sumo takes his place on a dog bed by the window, and Hank walks around the bed and sits on the edge.

He yawns and turns himself toward the bed, dips his legs beneath the covers, and settles next to Connor. He takes in a large breath and pulls the other to his chest. He's still aroused, but he ignores it - which had been a habit for the last long while. )

[ under the covers, held in the lieutenant's arms, connor wonders if he should go into standby and feign sleep, or wait out the time on his own. he also considers turning over to face him, so he can study him in the dark, but with only one arm and one leg the struggle would be enough to disturb, so he decides against it.

instead, he places his hand over the lieutenant's hand and listens to his breathing, his attention circling around and around the problem of what he's done wrong, and how to better improve upon his behavior in the future. after a while, his attention wanders back to hank, his breathing even once he's fallen asleep, his heartbeat returned to its average resting rate.

connor passes the hours, simply listening. ]

( Hank wakes up startled by Sumo's howling bark. First, there's panic, then confusion, then recognition that Sumo's barking at the door. He can feel pressure to his side, and then even more realization comes to him as he recognizes Connor's body beside him - which then prompts the memory of Connor's parts arriving. It was all coming together.

He groans before he pushes himself up to sit. His body feels a bit stiff, and he clears his throat. )

Con... Connor? ( He clears his throat again, his voice is a little raspy. ) I think your stuff is here. ( He yawns and scratches at his beard and head before he stands. He moves over to the closet and pulls out a robe and drapes it around himself before he heads out the room. Sumo follows Hank.

Connor would hear Hank giving Sumo commands before the door opens, and Hank directs the delivery people into his living room and set down the supplies. The door then closes, and Hank returns to the room to retrieve Connor. He lifts the brunette into his arms. )

They came in some nice boxes... Let's get you patched up.

( He brings Connor down the hall and to the couch and sets him down. He settles next to Connor. The boxes are stacked up on the coffee table before them. )

What one do you want first?

[ connor, some time during the morning (approximately 10:45pm), had switched over into stasis. but when hank wakes, his proximal sensors respond by waking him. his eyes flutter open and he twists his neck to watch hank rub the sleep from his face before walking from the room. the sounds from the delivery men filter in, clear to his sensitive ears. connor sits up. he puts his arm around hank's shoulders when he returns to carry him into the living room, which is now filled with several slick white boxes stamped with cyberlife branding.

connor looks at each of them, satisfied that everything is present and accounted for. he glances to hank. ]

My arm and leg, please. Then I can help you with the rest. The tubing and wiring will be a two person job.

Well, alright, then. ( Hank takes in a quick breath, holds it in his chest, and exhales. There was still a great deal of hesitation in helping Connor out with something complex - which is exactly what it sounds like with Connor's preview of what's to come. A two-person job.... tubing and wiring... Well fuck. ) I'll get these going then.

( Hank opens the boxes, not really knowing what was in what, so he manages to open them all. The leg he pulled out first, however and set it between Connor and himself on the couch. He looked in the box for instructions. )

You, uh... you know how do ... ya' know... but your shit back on, or? ( He's still on the hunt for some instructions. )

Yes, I do. But I can't reattach my leg one-handed. You only have to line it up and apply pressure until you hear the click— It's not complicated.

[ connor offers an encouraging smile. hank will have to do the same for his arm anyway, so he might as well get it over with. besides, if it ever so happens that he needs repairs again, then at least hank will know he's able to do it. ]

You can't really mess it up.

( Hank nods. He sits straight on the couch, still for a breath, before he turns his attention to Connor's new leg. His mouth twists and his brows furrow. He sniffs while grabbing the leg with both hands. Concentration is evident in his face, and he positions the leg against the hip. He cocks his head and looks up to Connor. ) This… I don't have to do any ... wire connecting or anything? Just pop it back in place?

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