systolicarray | ://i have no heart

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://i have no heart

[ it's dark. his internal chronometer reads 9:45pm. it had taken less than an hour to wrap up the hostage situation, and he'd left almost immediately after to catch a cab back to the cyberlife tower.

the reason why he's currently standing on a curb, under the harsh glare of a street lamp, is obvious without words: the cab parked nearby, smoking under the hood, is the culprit. he had called a second cab fifteen minutes ago, but had been warned that it might arrive late. there was currently high traffic congestion in this part of the city, and several cabs were stuck in the backup of vehicles. this was partially due to the streets around the phillips' apartment building being blocked off for several hours.

a moth had broken free from the allure of the street lamp to orbit around his head— it bumped into his LED twice, attracted by the glow. connor stepped sideways, and it followed him.

he waited for his cab to arrive. he didn't didn't think about daniel, or emma. he waited. ]

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[ one of connor's eyebrows raise, and his eyes drift toward sumo. hank has a point. he should probably dress.

as hank speaks, he finishes attaching the new length of wire, and then moves on to the next, which he also has hank cut a length for and hold while he begins the painstaking process over again. meanwhile, he considers the rest of what he's said. ]

Then I'll give you my shirt and pant size? Or were you intending to guess?

No, that's fine. That'll be fine. So, you really don't have a fucking preference for what sort of clothes to get you?

( He watches as Connor continues to attend to his task. )

Erm, anything... you ... can't wear?

No? I was never intended to wear anything but my uniform.

[ when he's done with the next wire, he quickly sets up a diagnostic scan to run as he speaks. there are still some minor internal issues, but nothing worth worrying about. they should resolve themselves in time. ]

Can't wear? In what way?

That's... boring, don't you think? Anyway, I mean, like, are you allergic to... anything, or does a certain material agitate your junk, fuck, I don't know?

( He was getting anxious and irritated at having to answer Connor's question, only because it made him feel stupid for asking. )

I don't have "junk".

[ he gives hank a funny look, only because he should know. the evidence is right there if he just looks down— but he considers the question seriously for a moment before answering in earnest, considering the fact that the lieutenant wasn't particularly familiar with androids. ]

It isn't recommended to dress androids in clothing made from loose weave fabrics, because the stray threads can cause faster degradation to our artificial skin. So it might be best to avoid pure wool, hemp, or anything else that would be overly abrasive.

Does that help?

Well, fuck me, I know that Connor. ( The question was answered by Connor's comment about his skin. ) I was talking about your skin... and shit.

( Even still, he can't help an obvious glance down between Connor's legs. He huffs and averts his eyes. ) Jesus Christ.

What's wrong?

[ blinking several times, connor follows hank's eyes with his own, peering down between his legs for a moment before he reaches for the box that contains his plastic. he removes it from the packaging on his own, his innards glowing a healthy blue, his LED still yellow. (warning him about the missing panel, which he begins going about the process of replacing. it slots into the empty section easily, and once it's installed, his artificial skin covers it so that he looks, once again, whole and unbroken.)

his LED returns to blue, and connor stands. he twists one way, then the other, and then his LED blinks yellow again, and he stumbles. ]

Ah—

Oh-shit! ( Hank's hands reach out to grab onto Connor, directing the other toward him rather than toward anything else. It was a knee-jerk reaction to which Hank wanted to try and protect Connor from getting hurt. He's ready for Connor to crash on top of him and his eyes close tightly - anticipating the impact - if Connor's unable to straighten himself up. )

[ connor recovers by catching himself with a hand on hank's shoulder, but he sinks down the rest of the way once he has. he misses sitting on his thigh and sits down between his knees, instead, looking appropriately dazed, his LED flickering rapidly. his head wobbles, and he braces his cheek against hank's leg. ]

Excuse me. I miscalculated the change in thirium pressure reinstalling my damaged limbs would cause. My thirium volume is down by... by forty percent.

( Hank didn't know the particulars of what that meant, but he knew 40% meant it was low comparable to 100%. He settles a hand on Connor's head, and pets the brunette hair down and to the side. A frown settles on his lips while he huffs. )

Jesus. So, what you need another 60% to be stable? ( He couldn't help but imagine Connor wobbling around the home like he was drunk. )

[ connor gives a sluggish nod and closes his eyes, his head lolling against hank's hand. "tired" isn't something that he can imagine, but if he had a point of reference, he would also know that this sensation approximates it. his eyelids droop, sluggish, and his breathing comes a little slower, a little deeper. there are no more leaks, so he won't have to worry about the volume decreasing any further and preempting his shut down, but... ]

Why didn't I order any thirium?

[ it was a glaring omission. he must be running at lower capacity than he thought. ]

( Hank lightly chuckles, although the noise was a facade to the real genuine intention to connect with Connor in this situation. He exhales and continues to gently stroke his hand over Connor's head. He thinks about the previous night and their conversation about following Hank to bed.

What implications were left to the imagination, and Hank's ultimate refusal to start down that path. However, it was clear to him how he felt about Connor and what he wanted.

Even though he said he would wait, it didn't occur to him until now that he didn't have any certainty that Connor would ever get to that place with Hank. That Connor regarded Hank in any way other than a familiar and useful person, someone who Connor could use as a resource.

Would Hank be satisfied if that's all he was to Connor? These thoughts put a frown on his face, but he continues to comfort himself with the gentle caress of Connor's soft hair. )

... Hank?

[ he hadn't responded, had he? or had he missed it? he pries his eyes open, peering up at him. the low thirium warning flashed an angry red. if he lost another ten percent he would be in danger of imminent shut down. his vision blurred, his reflexes impaired, it would be difficult to move, but not impossible. it was a little ironic, wasn't it, that giving him his mobility back would result in its loss for a second time?

his brows draw together in a squint, like he's struggling to focus. even through his hair, his hand feels warm. ]

( Hank is still, he even holds his breath as he peers down at Connor. Those beautiful brown eyes glancing up at him, they look tired... they look human.

Hank's jaw tightens. He knows what he'll do, what he'll say. He moves his hand down from Connor's head to the front of Connor's throat. He caresses the flesh over Connor's throat, strokes the length up to Connor's jaw, then down again to his chest. )

I can order some from the website. Just... stay still.

There's no danger. My processor is... just...

[ struggling to keep up with the demand his body requires. much like the human brain, an android's processor required a tremendous amount of energy. his battery, as far as he was aware, should be fully charged (he'd been topping off every time he returned to the cyberlife tower) but thirium was required to transfer that energy to the various parts of his body. data transfer also became much slower as a result.

he was thinking of telling hank these things, but he couldn't quite muster up the willpower to do it.

and, on top of everything else, his hand on his throat was distracting. he raised his own hand to try to follow it, his fingers gripping weakly around hank's wrist. he squeezes before allowing his arm to go limp again. ]

Okay, Lieutenant.

( Hank's convinced Connor's is safe. Maybe plugging in more ... limbs caused a power drain on the limited source of thirium? Hank likens this to plugging in an electronic to an outlet that can't produce the required power. )

Good, relax.

( He strokes Connor's neck a few more times before he hoists Connor back up onto the couch. He settles Connor next to him and offers a satisfying pat to Connor's knee before he leans forward to retrieve the laptop.

He visits the site from before and navigates the selections to where he has a few options of the liquid power. )

Any... particular ... one?

[ connor's eyes flutter when Hank picks him up; his body is a bit lighter than it would usually be, and his attention is scattered. but when hank asks him his question, he manages to wrestle it back into place, picking up his head from where it'd fallen onto hank's shoulder and bracing himself against his arm to squint at the screen.

he doesn't actually need to, but just to be certain— ]

I'll need six standard sized packs to replenish fully. You might... want to get a few extra, but it's not required.

Do they expire? ( Hank was totally for overindulging on things, especially liquid things. However, he didn't want to spend the money on something that would expire. He liked to think about having a reserve around for Connor, not because he anticipates the brunette getting anymore damaged, but just in case he needs a top off every so often. )

No. Not for several thousand years, at least.

[ it could've been a joke, if he was able to muster up the strength for it. unfortunately, he isn't.

his voice comes out a little hoarse. ]

As long as thirium isn't... isn't exposed to open air, it can last almost indefinitely. But once exposed, it evaporates very quickly. The seals between an android's modular parts aren't perfect. That's why it's necessary to refill occasionally.

Alright, we'll grab ten then. ( It seemed like a good even number. It'll give Connor a few extra, and they can store it some place safe and convenient. Hank adds the product to the cart. He looks to Connor. )

Can you think of anything else at the moment?

[ connor makes a sound that seems to be a negative and closes his eyes again, his LED blinking a slow but steady yellow, yellow, yellow. there are other things they may need in the future, but none seem worth wasting the energy on at the moment. ]

( Hank waits a few minutes, the laptop idle on his lap and his arm comes to settle around Connor's shoulders. He holds Connor close to him, and his head rests on Connor's brunette hair. He closes his eyes and imagines how easy it would be to fall asleep like this.

Save for his cold toes. Goddammit. Why is it that just when you get comfortable, something always intolerable comes to fuck that shit right up?

He puts the order through with his free hand, and once that's finished, he closes the laptop and puts it off to the side. )

Come on; I'll take you to bed.

[ connor makes another sound, soft, and lifts his head to look at hank with bleary eyes. he gives an awkward smile, like he's attempting to be the one to reassure, and then follows up with a wobbly nod. ]

Good idea, Lieutenant. I should...

[ what? oh, right— ]

Stasis. Run diagnostics and repair.

You should just relax. Try not to exert any more thirium than you need.

( Hank frowns. He waits a moment before he stands and collects Connor into his arms. The added weight was noticeable, but it wasn't unmanageable. Hank relocates them to his bedroom, where he lays Connor down on the bed and pulls the sheets up over him. He takes a moment to appreciate the sight of the brunette in his bed, looking quite appropriate for the occasion, before he walks around the bed and gets into it next to Connor.

He doesn't shy away from snuggling up to the brunette. His arm was around Connor, and his knee presses against the other. )

You're going to be okay. I'll take care of you.

[ if he was in better condition, he might make a comment at that. androids didn't relax, not really, but it's difficult enough to speak and he's certain that hank is only trying to be helpful. the words i'll take care of you solidify the impression, once he's been safely tucked into hank's bed. and it's bizarre, to really stop and consider it, when before he had spent so much time in stasis at cyberlife tower, in a charging bay the size of a small closet. an android's comfort doesn't need to be considered, but the lieutenant is considering it.

although he's somewhat stiff in hank's arms, he still watches his face with some sense of expectation. he tries to imagine what would be the appropriate response to such words, but for all his advanced programming, he can't figure it out. ]

If that's what you want, Lieutenant.

[ for a moment he only meets hank's eyes, without saying anything more, and it almost seems like he might make an addendum to that statement, but— ]

I'm going to go into standby now. If you need me for anything, you only have to wake me like you would a human.

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